R.I.P. TV?

The world cup is over and women have reclaimed their remote controls. It’s strange to think that after months of hype, and numerous football-related advertisements, the whole tournament ended with a whimper. Despite 120 minutes of football, the final will always be remembered for Zinedine Zidane’s bull in a china shop.

During this time, men around the country were subjected to sighs of displeasure, whenever a match kicked-off.
“It’s once every 4 years love, let me watch it, please...”
Now I know that women are far more likely to watch football than they were 20 years ago, but even the most loving of marriages must have been tested by the constant stream of group matches, with 3 games being played each day.

So now that it’s over, what are we left with? Now that women have gained control of the channel-hopping, it seems that rumours of reality-televisions demise have been greatly exaggerated. 9pm–Big Brother. 10pm–Love Island. Every night!! It’s enough to make you walk the dog!

I don’t care if the son of someone famous wants to do unmentionable things to a girl who makes Jackie Stallone look attractive. And I don’t care if Nikki has a fit because she can’t eat fish and everybody else laughs at her. And is it my imagination or has this particular “series” of Big Brother been on since 2003? They just keep evicting people and then stuffing more in. It’s never going to end, I tell you!!

The television schedules are now, more than ever, aimed at women. Location x 3, How to look good naked, Holby City, This is not top quality television. At which point during these shows are we required to think for ourselves?

Poignantly, this weekend sees the grand finale of The West Wing, one of the most educated and thought provoking drama’s that we have witnessed for the last decade. This is being axed due to falling ratings, although what everyone is watching instead is beyond me.

Panorama is being moved back into its Primetime slot, which is a step in the right direction. But until Spooks returns in the autumn, BBC is offering very little in the way of competition to this sickeningly banal programming. “Sorted” promised much but is a very poor man’s Clocking Off, and the characters are so one-dimensional compared to the likes of “Life on Mars”.

ITV appears to have given up using actors or presenters, choosing instead to produce “The World’s fattest builders from hell on holiday in freak weather” etc. Sky One seems to be following suit. Sure, you can talk about it in work the next day, but what about the other 7 hours and 57 minutes?

Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be, so the saying goes. Gladiators, Noel’s House Party and Blind Date were hardly the pinnacle of what our national broadcasters could achieve. But at least they were trying.