Fear

Everton play Manchester United tonight. The perennial under-achievers take on the Premiership leaders. Free-scoring Mancs against the shot-shy Toffees. And our two best players, who have scored 90% of our league goals this season are both crocked. I'm going to build a bunker and stay off work for a week. I feel a cold coming on...

It's wrong that I should be this negative. I should have every faith that my beloved team will stroll onto the Old Trafford pitch, look their opponents in the eye, and know that they will leave victorious. We have international players in all departments - Nigerian centre backs, Portugese full backs, Spanish playmakers and Scottish dribblers.

However, from an Everton point of view, and bearing in mind a lot of disappointment over the last 13 years, the boys in blue always look tiny when they shuffle out into the self-titled Theatre of Dreams. Even Phil Neville, who played in the devil-red shirt of the Mancs for most of his career, somehow looks smaller in blue. Less likely to carry the ball the full length of the pitch, because its so big. Imagine 11 smurfs positioned in various poses on a full size football pitch, and you have Everton at Old Trafford.

I was always fairly indifferent to United. I didn't like them constantly winning the Premiership in the 1990's, but I admit to cheering them on in the last few minutes of the Champions League final. However, since "Rooneygate" in 2004, I hate them with a passion.

I never liked Rooney at Everton. He always drew far too much media attention to himself, and the rest of the team sufferred as a result. Everton work better under the radar, as in 2005 when they sneaked 4th place from under the noses of supposedly better teams. But I was glad to see the back of Rooney, and from the excepts of his biography (which is a whole nother issue) he seems to be a thoroughly unpleasant chap.

So why do I hate United for taking him off our hands? Simply this. It was the patronising way in which it was done. Everton had nurtured Rooney from a pup to a bulldog, and then United stepped in, waving their dosh, saying "well done boys, we'll take it from here...."

And all of a sudden, Wayne Rooney the international superstar was born. It's akin to the way that Sky and the Premiership single handedly "invented" football in 1992. All memories of any football prior to that season have been systematically erased. As has Rooney's Everton career.

So we're in for a leathering tonight, probably at the hands of our one time prodigy. Still, West Ham at home on sunday should ease the pain.....