Hey Diddly dee.....

Well, my 5 minutes of fame have come and gone. The star that burns twice as bright burns half as long, and I have burnt so very very brightly.

On the 1st July, I fulfilled my destiny - I was a movie star!! Well, I say “star”, I was actually an Extra for the filming of a Jack the Ripper movie. Well, I say “movie”, it was actually a short “teaser” film designed to be shown at Film Festivals across the globe.

So there we were in the Square Mile of London at 8am on a Sunday morning. There was a small crew including Producer, Director, Writer, Director of Photography and principal cast. I was there to help out, in whatever capacity I could, but I imagined this to be making coffee and holding umbrella’s.

The Producer had left posters all around Spitalfields and Liverpool Street, asking for Extra’s to come down to Mitre Square on Sunday morning. And some turned up, but not quite what we had expected. Six “extra’s” who had been out drinking HEAVILY all night saw our poster and decided it was more fun than wandering the streets of London until their coach took them back to Bristol at 4pm.

A few others turned up, including my mate (and part time Bruce Willis look-a-like) Dan and some guy who looked (and behaved) like the Tim Robbins character in War of the Worlds. Creepy.

The film centred on a Jack the Ripper tour guide, played by Dynasty’s own Christopher Cazenove, and the young woman (played by Melanie Gutteridge, from The Bill) who takes an unhealthy interest in his tales.

I was placed in charge of “wrangling” the Extra’s into some form of sense. Which required a great deal of coffee, muffins and croissants to sober them up and pacify them. Their job as Extra’s was to portray the Tour group, being led around London by Mr Cazenove, and responding with appropriate groans of shock and disgust at his graphic tales of Jack’s ripping exploits. I just stood on the sidelines and pointed at where they needed to stand.

However, right at the last minute, I was flung centre screen as Extra number 1. Wow, look at me Mum, acceptance at last! A lesser man than myself would have been nervous, stagestruck even. But I was confident in my own abilities as a thespian, and knew that when the Director called for action, a little magic would happen. I grimaced, I groaned and I howled with such vigour that wouldn’t have been out of place in Holby City’s waiting room.

“Is there no end to this boys talents?” cried the director. Well, he might have thought it at any rate, but didn’t want to make all the other Extra’s feel bad. They did the best they could, but with obvious limits.

Once my Extra scenes were over, I returned to Assistant Director mode, which basically meant that I was a runner. To-ing and fro-ing from one place to another, fetching drinks and equipment, blocking off streets to avoid passers-by interrupting filming. It was non-stop and completely exhausting but it was so much fun!!

Twelve hours of filming around the creepiest parts of London might not appeal to some people. The idea of not sitting down all day might be seem the best way to spend a Sunday. Carrying two carrier bags full of 15 cups of Starbucks’ finest through crowded streets, before standing in the middle of the road to stop pedestrians walking across the middle of a shot. It all might seem a little tedious. But not to me. Even the 3 hour drive home across London and down the M4 was enjoyable. Because as I drove home I just smiled to myself and considered how lucky I’d been to be part of something so great as movie making.

Allright, it was small scale and low budget. I mean, any film with more than two farthings to rub together would have hired someone far more handsome than myself to be lead Extra. And yes, it was incredibly hard work for no pay, but it was far more rewarding than sitting at a desk all day pretending to look busy whilst writing an article about the previous weekend’s experience of making a film.

See what I mean?