I was recently given a voucher which entitled me to 3 free months of DVD rental with Tesco.com and my goodness have I been using it.
Due to certain financial restrictions caused by Moneygeddon (thanks Charlie Brooker) and prioritising of our Sky channels, it was decided that between myself and my wife, we would drop all of Sky Movies, 2 of the “Mixes” and most of Sky Sports. This meant that I could keep up to date on all of the Premiership Football, enjoy the hilarious Comedy Central (really, a double episode of Everyone Loves Raymond???) and lots of biblical epics on TCM. I was even given a boxed edition of my favourite film, The Princess Bride, but it's so special that I haven't had the courage to open it yet.
However, in terms of recent blockbusters I’ve fallen behind. I’m at that age now where the idea of sharing a viewing experience with a cinema packed full of people (none of whom I was allowed to interview or risk-assess prior to them sitting down) is starting to fade. I’m fairly sure that if I went to see State of Play or In the Loop, the cinema might not be full of screaming chav’s talking on their mobiles. But that is quite limiting.
So, this DVD membership (free for 3 months remember) was a wonderful opportunity for me to catch up on all the high-octane (what exactly is octane and why is it always high? You never hear of low-octane, do you?) thrillers, and art house minuets that I have missed recently. Plus, it’s free for 3 months, so it doesn’t contradict my credit crunch policy of “Don’t spend money on stuff I might enjoy”.
Now I know that in the 21st century most people's average attention doesn’t banana hammock. So with that in mind, here is a list of the films I’ve rented in the last month, with clever, witty, brain-as-sharp-as-a-razor, two line reviews.
WALL-E - saw it in the cinema but I forgot how beautiful it is. For a film with less dialogue than Apocalypto, it still engages your attention for the duration. And always good to hear the vocal talents of Ben Burtt and John Ratzenberger.
TOY STORY 2 I wasn't a fan of the first one, found it a bit annoying to be honest. But I really enjoyed this, as the ensemble toys were fleshed/plastic-ked out more (Rexy, Mr Potato Head etc) and there were some excellent moments, such as the cones crossing the road, and Rexy chasing after the jeep. These two films made me think of my top 5 animated films, I invite you to do the same!
5 The Lion King
4 Toy Story 2
3 A bug’s life
2 Wall-E
1 Finding Nemo
ROCKNROLLA – It’s about various rival factions in Laaaaaaarndon mate and their all after this macguffin and they all come face to face at the end and it goes a bit Radio Rental. Sound familiar? It’s still watch able and anytime Gerard Butler is on screen my wife is happy.
DIE HARD 4.0 (Live Free or Die Hard) A few tips of the hat to previous films ("Special Agent Johnson, huh? Great.") and the yippee kay-ay at the end. The sidekick wasn't as annoying as I expected, the bit with Silent Bob and "the Fett" made me laugh and some of the set pieces were incredible - the car hitting the helicopter, the jeep in the lift shaft etc
1408 - John Cusack and Samuel L. Starts off well enough, making you think it's going to be a good old haunted house flick. Then it descends into psychological drivel and by the end you really don't care.
AMERICAN GANGSTER - Denzel and Maximus. Excellent, excellent, excellent. 151 minutes flew by, and both characters appeal to the viewers sympathies. I would watch Denzel Washington eat toast, he’s that good.
21 - Kevin Spacey Spacey phones in his performance as he teaches his students to count cards in Vegas. A few twists and turns but nothing you couldn't predict. Or care about.
THE BANK JOB - Good cast, no script, awful film. Even Poirot is wasted in it.
JUNO – very quirky but well written and acted and the soundtrack gives it a dreamlike feel, although not sure what to make of Jason Bateman's character. I think he's a sleaze and I'm not happy with that!
THE MUMMY 3 - to be honest I was pretty half-cut after Everton beat Man Utd in the Cup Semi final so I would have enjoyed anything. Brendan Fraser is always watch able without having to do much. And once again his presence on screen makes my wife happy.
I currently have QUANTUM OF SOLACE, TAKEN, and IN BRUGES waiting to be watched, so what am I doing typing away here? Must go.
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